Brynn's Page

I got saved at age 16 while struggling with stress, depression and big questions like what the purpose of life is. I did not come from a religious family but had attended Baptist churches a few times with friends or family. I knew almost nothing about God or the Bible. I only knew that Jesus was a guy who died on a cross years ago. Why He died or who He was I had no clue. I believed there was a God somewhere but didn't think He was much concerned with people.

I had contemplated suicide and attempted on several occasions. Something stopped me from going through with it each time but I decided to do it one evening. Just before I began, a question entered my mind I hadn't thought of before. I wondered if Hell was real and if I would go there when I died. It was odd for me to think of religious things but I had heard about Hell one of the few times I had gone to church. It was enough to know I didn't want to go there.

I thought maybe I should try to find out if Hell was real before I ended up there. The simple prayer I prayed was, "God if You care about me please let me know and show me what to do." I waited for some response like a lightning flash or anything. Nothing happened that I could tell. I then decided God didn't care about me and started to attempt suicide.

Another question popped into my head as if someone was speaking to me, "Why don't you give God time to answer your prayer?" I thought about it and it made sense. I had only given God five minutes to respond and maybe His answer would take more time. As I got ready for bed, something was different. I had a sense of hope I hadn't felt before. It was like someone had lit a candle inside me and an image of a candle burned in my mind.

As I was going to get breakfast the next morning, I noticed a pile of books on the table and the one on top was a Christian book. I had never seen a Christian book in my house and wondered if God had dropped it from Heaven. Any Christian book in my house had to be from God and I knew it was an answer to my prayer the night before. I grabbed the book and rushed to my room to read it. The book actually described how to give my life to Jesus. It walked me through every step from believing that He died for me to repenting and then not ever doubting once I had given my life to Him. God had showed me He cared and He had shown me what to do like I had asked. It has been my reason to live ever since.